Chasing A Spider- Love Is Gone 61

   It was almost ten years after Aidan’s death when I met Lauren Tunney, a forty-two year old spinster who for some unknown reason saw something good in me. I met her under normal circumstances for me, which was in a cheesy lounge in Roanoke, where she was sitting alone at a corner table sipping white wine. She gave me a warm smile while I was standing at the bar, so I walked over to her table where she invited me to take a seat. We talked until the lounge closed, about everything imaginable. She worked in a discount retail store where she was an assistant manager, a job that she constantly denigrated, but I told her it had its dignity and was legal. She said that she had never been married and had no children, which she attributed to being unattractive. She was anything but with her brown hair, brown eyes and cherubic face that lit up the room.

   After we talked about her she focused on me and when I told her I was a private investigator her brown eyes lit up. “Oh my God, you must live an interesting life.” She replied. I told her that it was at times, but mostly it was dull, dreary work. I found myself being honest about myself, which was rare for me because women usually never gave me a second look and for good reason, but Lauren did, which still confounds me.

   The year and half I spent with her were the happiest days of my life. During that time I refrained from excessive drinking, smoking and was truthful, even when it was embarrassing. Everything about our relationship was honest and beautiful, and for the first time in my pathetic life I felt that I had found someone who could look beyond my myriad of faults.

   Until death dashed my dreams. Fortunately, Lauren didn’t suffer long, but that only meant she was gone sooner from me. Endless tears didn’t bring her back, and neither did begging to God. Lauren was gone and so were my hopes of ever finding happiness. I’ve been a shell ever since and I know just how contemptible I have become. It saddens me, but it’s the truth.

   Love is gone and I’m still here.